I have been a bad blogger. I haven’t posted for a week. The reason why I haven’t posted was due to the fact I have been designing my new website. This Wednesday my new wordpress blog will launch.
The Craziness will continue……shortly.
Youth Pastor are an interesting breed of people. Generally, YP are ego-driven, people pleasers, always right, have facial hair, hip, stylish, and very opinionated.
If someone critiques the YP’s ministry philosophy, style, program, and theology, their knee jerk reaction is to get mad. Why? Because some Youth Pastors take themselves too seriously.
Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it.
Why can angels fly? Because they take themselves lightly.
I am calling all youth pastors to get the edge over their emotions. Get confident and certain in what God is doing in your ministry and what He is doing in you and relax. And for goodness sake don’t take yourself seriously. You will only become bitter, depressed, and jaded. If you are going to take anything seriously take God’s work seriously.
Some signs to detect a high strung and a very serious youth pastor:
1. His/Her life is his/her ministry. Basically their youth ministry is their life and they are getting life from leading a immature group of jr high and sr highers. In 90% of their conversation revolve around what God is doing in THEIR ministry. My advice: Get a life. Hang out with adults. We get it, you like your job and your goatee.
2. Meetings are fun for them. Meetings are where they thrive. Okay meetings are meetings and artificial. Unfortunately meetings is when they people have to listen to them and their pontifications.
3. They have the last word in every conversation. The high strung YP needs to make sure their voice is loud and they get the last word in many conversations. If they preface the conversation with: “I am very opinionated”….run and run quick.
4. They are always right. And they wonder why some parents/students don’t like them?
5. They react when a student makes fun of them. The high strung youth pastor gets mad because a 16 year old highlights the their insecurity in front of the youth group. Come on….everyone was thinking it….the 16 year old had the guts to just say it. If you are letting some 16 year old punk get in your head, you need to get out of youth ministry. You have to have a thick skin when working with students. Why? Because they will immediately see your flaws and directly call them out. I am know as the PRETTY BOY YOUTH PASTOR who has perfect hair, wears tight shirts, and stumbles over my words. My advice: relax and make sure to make fun of yourself— a lot.
Many of my high school students have been struggling with the idea of: I believe God exists, but I haven’t experienced God. Some of their questions were: How do I connect with God? Where is God in my life? What do I need to do in order to feel Him? If I pray and ask Him, will He reveal Himself to me?
Some of my angry prayers/statements to God included: Why God? These kids think you are a flake. God, forcefully reveal yourself to them this week! These kids need you and they need you to drastically transform their lives and their soul so they can see your Kingdom, which is so beautiful, can you do that God? God I don’t care how you do it, but do it–appear to these kids.
Tonight during youth group, we explored the idea of Who is God and Where is God? I attempted to communicate that we need to release the destructive images of God while embracing the constructive images shown in Scripture. I asked and invited all students to think of one place in their personal life where they can connect with God.
In their contemplation and reflection time, I showed this visual video that encouraged them to explore how they might connect with God.
Last Sunday during our high school Sunday morning meeting, I brought in a New York Times article discussing the states (New Hampshire, Vermont, Hawaii, New Jersey, Connecticut, Maine, Washington, Oregon and California ) that HAD same sex civil union available in 2004. On May 15, 2008, the Supreme Court of California voted 4-3 that a state law banning same-sex marriage was constituted illegal discrimination because domestic partnerships were not a good enough substitute. On November 4th, 2008 California will have an opportunity (Prop 8 ) to change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California.
In light of this article, I asked these questions to the high school students:
What is your knee jerk reaction towards same-sex marriages?
Do homosexual couples have a constitutional right to get married?
Do homosexual couples have a theological right to get married?
Do same sex marriages effect the family system?
Would you vote “yes” or “no” on Prop 8? Why? Give me a theological answer about your Prop 8 answer.
The high school students were fired up in how they answered the questions. 10% of the students would vote “NO” for Prop 8, while the other 90% would vote “YES” for Prop 8.
My goal of discussing Prop 8/same-sex marriages in CHURCH was not to convince them what to vote for or to hand out Prop 8 literature. Rather, I wanted my students to think theologically about the same-sex issue and how their theological interpretations are translated into state government. They needed to think about the societal implications at the state, family, and church level. If they are voting “YES” on Prop 8, then what is their theology that is leading them in that direction? If they are voting “NO”, what is the thrust of their theology that is convicting them to say same-sex marriage is legit in society?
The Founding Fathers taught us how to think politically, and it is up to the Church to know how to think theologically.
I wanted my students to see the complexity and polarity regarding the same-sex marriage issue. I wanted to hammer home the idea that how they voted does not jeopardize their salvation. Political messages and theological messages should never be mixed. It is a bad combination. My students are smart, they will figure it out. They don’t need their youth pastor telling them how to think politically. Although their youth pastor will tell them everything about hermeneutics, church history, theology, and the Bible.
Let the pastors do what the pastors do best and let the politicians do what the politicians do best.
I never thought I would be a small church youth ministry youth pastor. I had multiple opportunities to go to the mega-church youth ministry. Honestly, my personality and charisma could easily fit the mega church ym model. Seriously, there is no $ in small church ministry and I have a lot of seminary loans to pay back. So why would I be so committed to small church youth ministry? Despite the many disadvantages( lack of funding, resources, space, and staffing) of small church ministry, I am still a firm believer that small church youth ministry is the most effective approach in ministering to student’s souls. Why?
Intimacy! Intimacy!
If a student walks into a small youth ministry, he or she will most likely be greeter and ask a few questions. If a student walks into a mega-church youth ministry, he or she will most likely become one of the many who simply just take a chair and become a spectator. Small church ministries have a faster ability to start relationships and learn about the student before he/she fills out a card indicating he/she wants to get involved in an area bible study/small group.
Ability to rethink and implement more quickly
Youth culture is always changing, so therefore your youth ministry should always be changing. The youth pastor should always be asking? Why are we doing what we are doing? Is it working? And how can we do it better? I would say if you have been using a model for 3 to 5 years, ditch it. Models are immediate responses to current contexts. Trust me your students have probably out grown the model two years ago. After many months of planning, preparing, praying, and assessing you can develop a model without stepping on anyone’s toes. The youth pastor has the ability to implement fast.
Dialogical approach
Small church youth ministry is literally an on-going conversation. I would recommend that teaching times during program are not 25 minutes sermons. Rather the teaching times be a focused dialogue and at the end the youth pastor land the conversation. In my experience, dialogues are more fruitful than a three point talk. Talks only allow the student to listen, a dialogue engages the student and allows them to interactive with the content presented. In the end having the opportunity to dialogue allows the students to have a higher change to take an ownership to his/her faith.
Intergenerational opportunities
Students should have a place to serve and participate on Sunday mornings. The small church should value the idea of: Family of Families. Essentially the small church should not be as fragmented as the mega-church, rather it should be more interconnected. The men’s ministry should have some exposure to the youth ministry and the children’s ministry should have the opportunity to hang out with the youth ministry. The youth pastor should feel as sense of connection with the entire church, rather than a connection with his/her mini-church of student ministry. Also, the youth pastor should be a team player with the other senior leadership of the church. Intergenerational solidifies more of a connectedness.
Not ministering to the masses
Small church youth ministry programs should not turn into spectators shows. A small church youth ministry should not have students sitting for the entire program. Actually remove all tables and chairs in your youth ministry program. Invite the students to interactive with one another. The more people, the higher the program relies on performance. We have to remember that the postmodern student is very skeptical of hyper programs.
Not driven by programmatic models, but driven by theological values
We as small church youth pastors should not feel guilty because we don’t have a solid small group program. Our entire youth ministry is a small group. I argue that small churches don’t need small groups. Our youth ministries departments need to be defined by theological values (missional, communal, serving, and love)and not by particular programs (i.e small groups, entry events, discipleship groups, student leadership). For example, youth group can consist of going and getting ice cream and the youth pastor should not feel guilty of fitting a program schedule.
Youth pastors are not managers of programs, but a manager of student’s lives
The small church youth pastor can spend a lot of his/her hours with students, not emailing their team to make sure the banners are ready for Sunday. Also the student can have direct access to the youth pastor if he/she wanted. Yes adult leaders are great, but they don’t have the time and expertise the youth pastor has. How much of your time is spent on planning the program?
Generally, student ministries of mega churches become more about their “label”, than about loving kids. It is easy to get so overwhelmed when hearing about the latest fad the mega church is doing. Small church youth ministry cannot talk about their label because we do not have one and if we did have a label no one would hear about it because we are so small. The only thing to brag about is how we are loving our kids. Small church ministry challenges the youth pastor to assess the community and the kids and creatively develop a program that meets the students right where they are at. The small church youth pastor does not need to get caught up in the “labels”, “systems”, and “models” and DONT feel overwhelmed because your small youth ministry is not doing what the mega-church youth ministry is doing.
The beautiful thing about a small church youth ministry is that it is not about the show and it is okay if our “program” sucks and we only have 15 students showing up to our weekly meetings. Stay small and feel great about your small group.
Stay small and think BIG. If you get big, figure out a strategy where you can get small again.
If you need a team activity that encourages group decision making this survival simulation will be simply brilliant. You need to divide your group up into teams of 4 to 8. On a side note, this simulation is actually used in the military to train soldiers how to think when trying to survive.
SURVIVAL SIMULATION:
You and your team have just survived the crash of a small plane. Both the pilot and co-pilot were killed in the crash. It is mid-January, and you are in Northern Canada. The daily temperature is 25 below zero, and the night time temperature is 40 below zero. There is snow on the ground, and the countryside is wooded with several creeks crisis-crossing the area. The nearest town is 20 miles away. You are all dressed in city clothes appropriate for a business meeting. Your group of survivors managed to salvage the following items:
A ball of steel wool
A small ax
A loaded .45-caliber pistol
Can of Crisco shortening
Newspapers (one per person)
Cigarette lighter (without fluid)
Extra shirt and pants for each survivor
20 x 20 ft. piece of heavy-duty canvas
A sectional air map made of plastic
One quart of 100-proof whiskey
A compass
Family-size chocolate bars (one per person)
Your task as a group is to list the above 12 items in order of importance for your survival. List the uses for each. You MUST come to agreement as a group.
EXPLANATION
Mid-January is the coldest time of year in Northern Canada. The first problem the survivors face is the preservation of body heat and the protection against its loss. This problem can be solved by building a fire, minimizing movement and exertion, using as much insulation as possible, and building a shelter.
The participants have just crash-landed. Many individuals tend to overlook the enormous shock reaction this has on the human body, and the deaths of the pilot and co-pilot increases the shock. Decision-making under such circumstances is extremely difficult. Such a situation requires a strong emphasis on the use of reasoning for making decisions and for reducing fear and panic. Shock is shown in the survivors by feelings of helplessness, loneliness, hopelessness, and fear. These feelings have brought about more fatalities than perhaps any other cause in survival situations. Certainly the state of shock means the movement of the survivors should be at a minimum, and that an attempt to calm them should be made.
Before taking off, a pilot has to file a flight plan which contains vital information such as the course, speed, estimated time of arrival, type of aircraft, and number of passengers. Search-and-rescue operations begin shortly after the failure of a plane to appear at its destination at the estimated time of arrival.
The 20 miles to the nearest town is a long walk under even ideal conditions, particularly if one is not used to walking such distances. In this situation, the walk is even more difficult due to shock, snow, dress, and water barriers. It would mean death from freezing and exhaustion. At temperatures of minus 25 to minus 40, the loss of body heat through exertion is a very serious matter.
Once the survivors have found ways to keep warm, their next task is to attract the attention of search planes. Thus, all the items the group has salvaged must be assessed for their value in signaling the group’s whereabouts.
FINAL RANKINGS
1. Cigarette lighter (without fluid)
The gravest danger facing the group is exposure to cold. The greatest need is for a source of warmth and the second greatest need is for signaling devices. This makes building a fire the first order of business. Without matches, something is needed to produce sparks, and even without fluid, a
cigarette lighter can do that.
2. Ball of steel wool
To make a fire, the survivors need a means of catching he sparks made by the cigarette lighter. This is the best substance for catching a spark and supporting a flame, even if the steel wool is a little wet.
3. Extra shirt and pants for each survivor
Besides adding warmth to the body, clothes can also be used for shelter, signaling, bedding, bandages, string (when unraveled), and fuel for the fire.
4. Can of Crisco shortening
This has many uses. A mirror-like signaling device can be made from the lid. After shining the lid with steel wool, it will reflect sunlight and generate 5 to 7 million candlepower. This is bright enough to be seen beyond the horizon. While this could be limited somewhat by the trees, a member of the
group could climb a tree and use the mirrored lid to signal search planes. If they had no other means of signaling than this, they would have a better than 80% chance of being rescued within the first day.
There are other uses for this item. It can be rubbed on exposed skin for protection against the cold. When melted into an oil, the shortening is helpful as fuel. When soaked into a piece of cloth, melted shortening will act like a candle. The empty can is useful in melting snow for drinking water. It is much safer to drink warmed water than to eat snow, since warm water will help retain body heat. Water is important because dehydration will affect decision-making. The can is also useful as a cup.
5. 20 x 20 foot piece of canvas
The cold makes shelter necessary, and canvas would protect against wind and snow (canvas is used in making tents). Spread on a frame made of trees, it could be used as a tent or a wind screen. It might also be used as a ground cover to keep the survivors dry. It’s shape, when contrasted with the surrounding terrain, makes it a signaling device.
6. Small ax
Survivors need a constant supply of wood in order to maintain the fire. The ax could be used for this as well as for clearing a sheltered campsite, cutting tree branches for ground insulation, and constructing a frame for the canvas tent.
7. Family size chocolate bars (one per person)
Chocolate will provide some food energy. Since it contains mostly carbohydrates, it supplies the energy without making digestive demands on the body.
8. Newspapers (one per person)
These are useful in starting a fire. They can also be used as insulation under clothing when rolled up and placed around a person’s arms and legs. A newspaper can also be used as a verbal signaling device when rolled up in a megaphone-shape. It could also provide reading material for recreation.
9. Loaded .45-caliber pistol
The pistol provides a sound-signaling device. (The international distress signal is 3 shots fired in rapid succession). There have been numerous cases of survivors going undetected because they were too weak to make a loud enough noise to attract attention. The butt of the pistol could be used as a
hammer, and the powder from the shells will assist in fire building. By placing a small bit of cloth in a cartridge emptied of its bullet, one can start a fire by firing the gun at dry wood on the ground. The pistol also has some serious disadvantages. Anger, frustration, impatience, irritability, and lapses of rationality may increase as the group awaits rescue. The availability of a lethal weapon is a danger to the group under these conditions. Although a pistol could be used in hunting, it would take an expert marksman to kill an animal with it. Then the animal would have to be transported to the crash site, which could prove difficult to impossible depending on its size.
10. Quart of 100 proof whiskey
The only uses of whiskey are as an aid in fire building and as a fuel for a torch (made by soaking a piece of clothing in the whiskey and attaching it to a tree branch). The empty bottle could be used for storing water. The danger of whiskey is that someone might drink it, thinking it would bring
warmth. Alcohol takes on the temperature it is exposed to, and a drink of minus 30 degrees ahrenheit whiskey would freeze a person’s esophagus and stomach. Alcohol also dilates the blood vessels in the skin, resulting in chilled blood belong carried back to the heart, resulting in a rapid loss of
body heat. Thus, a drunk person is more likely to get hypothermia than a sober person is.
11. Compass
Because a compass might encourage someone to try to walk to the nearest town, it is a dangerous item. It’s only redeeming feature is that it could be used as a reflector of sunlight (due to its glass top).
12. Sectional air map made of plastic
This is also among the least desirable of the items because it will encourage individuals to try to walk to the nearest town. It’s only useful feature is as a ground cover to keep someone dry.
Tragedies of death, disease, drug over dose, suicide, alcohol abuse, parental abuse, and sexual abuse happen in our youth group settings. How do we help the students face the community tragedy?
Dealing with the emotional intensity of a tragedy in a group setting is a very difficult task. It is really tricky and awkward. In my youth ministry experience, I have dealt with disease, death, suicide, sexual promiscuity, and an abusing of drugs and alcohol. I have found myself saying: I don’t have a clue what to do when trying to help the community process the confusion and pain. Through a series of failures of what not to do, I have slowly discovered what to potentially do.
1. Ask the student/family permission to talk about the tragedy in the youth group context.
2. Clearly describe the tragedy in a factual matter. Clear up any misunderstanding of what the students may have heard. Get the facts straight. Avoid talking about the uncertain aspects of the tragedy.
3. Ask descriptive questions using the “what,” “where,” and “how”. For example: What did you see when [the event] happened? Where were you when you first heard about it? What did you do next? How did you feel when that happened? What do you think about the [the event]?
4. Allow the students to ask questions. It is healthy for you students to process out loud in a public group setting. Be prepared to encounter a lot of different emotions. Remember to listen!
5. Read and talk about certain Scriptural passage that deal with understanding tragedy. Job 42.1-6, 2 Cor. 1.3-5, 12.9, Psalms 27; 40; 71; 86; 121; and 139, & James 1.12. Make sure to highlight that God did not intentionally orchestrate this tragedy. Don’t blame God for the tragedy or the person. If God is going to be the healer, then He cannot be the tragedy starter.
6. Use creative activities to help facilitate a greater understanding of the tragedy. Some activities can include: Have student journal describing how they are feeling and what they have learned; Have a memorial service; Have the students write an encouraging letter to the student(s) involved in the tragedy; Have teenagers raise funds for groups such as Red Cross, Salvation Army, Cancer Research or whatever group that relates to the tragedy; & Have the group make a hospital visit. The goal is to find activities that can bring the students together and give them a sense of realization and contribution to the healing of the community.
7. A continual effort in praying for the not only the tragedy invididuals, but for the inviduals that are also facing the tragedy.
Getting Fired For the Glory of God is one book with collections of Mike Yaconelli words and works. Talk about a package deal. When you buy this book you even get a DVD containing video and MP3 audio speeches given by Yaconelli. Okay I am starting to sound like an info-commercial.
What I learned from Mike’s words:
What characterizes followers of Christ is that we tell the truth. I am not talking about doctrinal truth—I am talking truth Truth: Where we talk about our strengths and weaknesses where we talk about our victories and defeats; where we talk about our successes and failures; where we talk about our answers and doubts; where we talk about our joy and depressions, where we talk about our courage and fear. (26)
We tell youth Jesus is the way, not about our 7 point doctrinal statement. We don’t teach series on doctrinal truths, we teach series on the real Jesus. And when we teach we be transparent, admit weakness and doubt, and we don’t pretend we have all the answers.
Modern YM has turned discipleship into principles rather than a process, activity rather than inactivity. Discipleship has become a commitment that can be measured instead of a relationship that cannot be measured. Discipleship has become a short-term program instead of a lifetime process. (55)
Jesus’ program of discipleship was simple: Hang out with the disciples; let them see you at your best and worst; spend lots of time alone; teach truths that none of your disciples can grasp at the moment; avoid crowds; go slowly; spend hours in solitude; don’t worry about opposition; ignore criticism; don’t expect immediate results. (55)
I am not a big fan of the discipleship programs and of extensive discipleship campaigns. I don’t think it is very effective gathering a group of boys who are in the same grade and going through a curriculum because they checked “yes” on their invitation card. I am a big fan of hanging out with students and allowing them to see into my world, which they will quickly conclude I am not that spiritual…. Discipleship is living a life and reflecting about it with other people and watching the spirit transform.
May God give us a new generation of youth workers, un-intimidated by denominations and institutions, who refuse to be held hostage to paychecks and who believe it’s their calling to rescue this generation from the jaws of a comfortable, compliant, lifeless religion so they can proudly introduce this generation to the unstable, captivation, erratic, wondrous, inconsistent, irregular, noble, and outrageous, glorious life of a disciple of Christ. (67)
Routine deadens our imaginations (139)
I am a recovering religion addict. I was a religion addict for about 4 years. It is sooooo easy to fall into the systematic traps every church has. A church organization organizes our ministry life, which includes several pointless meetings and returning complaining parent emails how we need to change our youth group night because little Timmy has too much homework on Tuesday night. Playing the church political game is pointless and only will destroy you.
Mike request every youth pastor do these 7 things:
1. Write into your job description: TIME ALONE WITH JESUS
2. Ask for a book budget that’s separate from your youth ministry book budget
3. Suggest that the staff get together weekly or even daily for communion to help everybody remember their calling
4. Find a wise older person who’ll agree to meet with you regularly to help you listen what God is saying in your life
5. Journal regularly (moleskins are preferred : ) )
6. Ask the staff to brainstorm ways to increase the percentage of time during staff meetings spent talking about their relationship with Jesus
7. Suggest that the staff have annual spiritual retreats
This past Sunday, was our first Youth Sunday. It was a hit and it was a great first step for us as the youth ministry to introduce our students to the “Big Church”. It was my goal to communicate that Sunday morning church is not BIG CHURCH, rather it is our Church. It was an amazing Sunday where the adult congregation got to see the youth do Church. Needless to say the adults are now fully aware the students @ Church by the Sea are capable demonstrating how God is moving in and through their life. One of the amazing women of our church, Mary Hurlbut, compiled this cool collage of her photographs with her commentary of the service. The collage captures the vibe of the service. Thanks Mary.
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5th Sunday of the Month~
Wow, what a Sunday Morning!
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young,
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When Youth Group is done—the lights are off, all the students and adult volunteer leaders are gone, and it is just you, your Bible, and your teaching notes, how are you feeling?
From time to time after youth group is done, I experience a variety of dark emotions: depression, loneliness, doubt, insecurities, questioning, hopelessness, confusion, and tiredness. I absolutely hate the drive home because I am left alone to deal with my negative emotions and thoughts.
It is my belief that there are external forces (including a demonic force) attempting to hijack us after a night of ministry. When everything is said and done, we are vulnerable and exposed.
In dealing with post-youth group we have two options:
First, we pretend that we are fine after a night of giving our souls away. And we somehow try to comprehend this confused and depressed state while we are doubting our call and our gifts for ministry. We wonder why we are snappy towards our spouse and why we had such a huge shift in our mood? By living in this state we are simply taking a beating and absorb the hits.
OR
We confront the negative and dark emotions and thoughts. We get strong and seek His spirit and fight the good fight. We take guard and we fight back. We be proactive, not passive. We have to stand up to these external forces. I don’t care if you dont believe in the cosmic battle–It is the real deal. Spiritual warfare in the USA manifests itself in different ways and it is alive! The demonic attaches to our deepest secrets and deepest insecurities and controls our energy and emotions. We live and function in a world that is ruled by a King who lies and wants to destroy us. We have to acknowledge we are exposed to a power that is not the Kingdom of God. This is why I strongly and violently embrace the Christus Victor atonement paradigm.
It is essential we get in environments that will shift our psychological and spiritual state, to a strong and confident state. Can we see why John calls the Spirit a paraclete? So it is a wise idea to console with the paraclete in places that will mends and counsel us back together.
Here are a few of my places:
1) Car. I love the car and I love to drive. Driving for me is very therapeutic and a great connecting point with God. I also play music that matches my spiritual and psychological state. If I am mad, I play mad music.
2) Beach. The sound of the waves and the movement of the ocean ministers to my soul.
3) Scenic Views. I love to find look out points or points where I can see for miles. I imagine that I am right by Jesus praying (like in Luke 4)in a isolated place as I am exposed to the evil ways of the evil one.
4) I take a walk. There is something about walking that generates an energy for me to gain my spiritual strength back.
5) I work out. By exerting force, I am able to combat any force working against me. I love to run, pump iron, push ups, pull ups, and muscle ups.
I wish ministers would talk more about this post-youth group period. Not enough pastors are talking about it. We need to talk about it a lot because it is a very lonely and depressing time, which may contribute to burn out or a deep depression or even a demonic suppression. For too many years, I would just take the pyschologoical beatings and pysch myself out., which ONLY contributed to me being a insecure youth pastor. I started to flourish and thrive once I realized that I had to fight and I needed to learn how to fight. I was prepared and not blindsided after everything was said and done. It is all about awareness and sensitivity. I knew how to identify my dark emotions and deal with them while leaning into the paraclete. Not to get all super spiritual, but I think it is foolish to say there is NOT something working against us after we had an effective day in “ministry”.
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